Gettin' to Know Me

I'm not inclined to be (perhaps to my own detriment) to be particularly disinclined to share entirely too much information. If you aren't a fan of such things feel free to stop reading. However I got this idea from Unleash The Beauty. If you want to know a bit too much about some random you've never met feel free to keep reading - I don't mind.

Vital Statistics:
Me: Bronwyn

Nicknames: Bron (always without invitation), Bronnie/Brony, Daisy

Birthday: November 28, 1990 

Place of Birth: Australia 

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius - though you knew this I've just told you my birthday 

Male or Female: Female

Occupation: Government Employee-To-Be / Undergraduate Engineering Student

Residence: Australia

Appearance:

Hair Colour: My natural mid-brown - with too strong a goldy base to misinterpreted as 'mouse brown'

Hair Length: Mid-Long

Eye colour: Brown

Best Feature: 

Height: 178cm

Braces?: nope - and I have slightly misplaced canine to show for it...

Glasses?: At one time - I'm not sure quite why though at times when I notice I squint more than other people I think I understand despite that though I have above average vision.

Piercing: Have had :Belly Button, hip surface piercings. Currently have ears (3 in each lobe), tragus, monroe, septum, 2 tragus dermals, 2 neck dermals, 2 stomach dermals and one other :)

Tattoos: Bats on my left shoulder, stars on my right foot.

Righty or Lefty: Righty

Your 'Firsts':

First best friend: Craig? in the pre-school we visited at his Nanna's at the same time kind of way... or probably Estelle

First Award: I've got no idea... probably for successfully completing homework readings or spelling tests or something dull like that..

First Sport You Joined: Swimming 

First Real Vacation: My family went for a week on the Sunshine Coast (QLD) every December for many years.

First Concert: ... The Seekers... how many 20 year olds can say that huh?

First Love: Wait out.

Favourites:

Movie: Music & Lyrics/Bride & Prejudice/Over Her Dead Body - You get the idea

TV Show: atm? none

Colours: Purple and lime green <- weirdly I didn't change this from the previous person...

Song: Dreamland Express - John Denver and King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Candy: Anythinggggg. I love candy :) 

Restaurant: usually places where other people can get steak but I can have not steak (to clarify I'm not a vego simply not a steak fan)

Store: Officeworks and Priceline - both are incredibly dangerous for my wallet

Book: Romance - cheap/second hand is my speciality...

Magazine: the most recent one in the pile (think waiting rooms)

Shoes: my Kmart $8 coral canvas shoes... I repurchased them 4 times... I'm fearful of when my current ones wear out they don't sell them anymore :(

Currently:

Feeling: Like I really REALLY don't want to do this stupid lab report

Single or Taken: Single but emotionally taken?

Eating: Oreos

Listening To: ^ King of Anything (after having to look up the spelling of her last name i couldn't resist)

Thinking About: my relationship status - thank you for bring it up :S

Wanting: to care more about doing my studies

Watching: trying to decide on a movie right now

Wearing: my skinny jeans and an old bowling shirt

Future:

Want Children?: Yes 2-4.

Want to be Married: Before I'm 30.

Careers in Mind: electrical engineer (the kind that doesn't have to design analogue electrical circuits though yuck)

Where do you want to live?: In the same location as my husband would be ideal :P... someplace warm but not hot - so not Canberra but not North QLD.

Do You Believe In:

God: Yes - bible bearing (but not bashing) Christian

Miracles: Yes

Love At First sight: In some instances - but it most certainly grows from that point.

Ghosts: no.

Aliens: Who am I to know? Not any of the ones people make a fuss over in conspiracy theories though

Soul Mates: Yes

Heaven: Yes

Hell: Yes

Kissing on The First Date: Situation dependent

Yourself: you'd think so wouldn't you?

Money Bags: I Struck Gold

Now I'm not going to claim aspirations to beauty blogging. That seems to me to be a lot of work and I'm not that good at make-up. Its simply my latest interest (thus why it gets a showing on my patchy, occasional access blog). 

However one of the big things in the make-up world - familiar to everybody who has even a passing interest in it - is Australia is among the most expensive countries in the world for having such a habit. Things that are cheap overseas simply aren't here - double/triple mark-ups are fairly routine. Which is not to say there isn't some cheaper options out there - you just don't hear about them all that much.

Ulta3 has been a long time favourite for nail polish. As a girl who is required by work not to wear nail polish I like to go all the more crazy with my toe nails and the $2.50 bin of nail polishes you can find at Terry White Chemists really help me scratch that itch. Certainly if you browse the interwebs you find many great testimonies to the awesomeness of Ulta3 colour selections. Until now, though, I've generally ignored the fact that that bin was connected to a slightly higher priced (~$7) selection of make-up.

I was looking for a costume to go to a bush dance the other day. For the life of me I couldn't find something good. Did eventually find a shirt which was in the old fashion fine flower patterns (which if the stores are anything to go by are about to be quite popular) but the line at Target was too long for me to get it in the time I had - I suppose that is another story. Before I'd gotten to Target though I was already feeling a bit down on my luck. Thus perhaps a little bit more predisposed to buying make-up than I would be otherwise.

If I couldn't actually have a good outfit - I could at least have good make-up right? This particular eye shadow palette draw my eye. What says Aussie Bush like a deep burnt orange? Hell its practically like picking the earth up and painting on there - you could turn all these colours into Aboriginal body paint or something.

Added bonus is that the palette's name is 'Money Bags'. The bush dance's official theme was Gold Rush so that seemed appropriate.

I am not claiming extensive knowledge of the good and bad of eye shadow but these are some of the nicest I've had the pleasure of working with. The orange of course is my favourite of the bunch - outwise I could probably have talked myself out of another reasonably basic set of light,mid,dark brown (though I admit this brown is also quite red as shows up under flash). If you like warmer shades these ones are really good.

 No Flash

 Flash

  Flash

 No Flash

I just felt like Ulta3 deserved a mention in the great blogosphere even if only on such an obscure blog as my own. I love the quality I've found in this little palette and think people should give Ulta3 a try if you live in Aus.

Practically Making Money

Ok... I really shouldn't have been buying things today. Particularly not make-up things. I mean realistically I already have more than I need and I only use it 2-3 times a week when I'm on a roll.

But I do really like new things. It makes me forget things like leaving my USB in the classroom again and having to start my entire three week lab due Monday from scratch to get the report done. Buying make-up is better than buying food - I already do too much of that.

However I did do the intelligent thing of only allowing myself $20 dollars to spend today. After all I haven't got all that much to last me from now till this Thursday ie pay-day. Perhaps more importantly more than that would really be wasting my money.

Everybody knows I'm sure that $20 dollars doesn't go all that far in make-up... One thing pretty much. Unless you find a sales bin. And see because make-up is already in surplus in my life I really don't care if what I buy isn't particularly great - for one thing I'm unlikely to be able to tell the difference. So I found a very impressive sales table at Terry White Chemists - everything for $5 dollars.

SUCCESS! That means I get to buy myself 4 different things with my $20 dollars. Surely I won't hate all of it :). So what did I get?

• Prestige Liquid Eyeliner (Legend) ($11.16)
• Prestige BakedShadow Quad Mineral Eyeshadow (Joia) with free eye pencil ($29.95)
• Prestige Let Loose! Duo Shimmering Shadow Dust (Earth Angel) ($17.46)
• Loreal Paris Glam Shine (Moon Crystal) ($22.95)

So can you add up all those original prices? $81.52... and that is why I like that particular Terry White chemist.

Now I should probably go ACTUALLY do that lab report I mentioned I need to start from scratch...

Keep On Going..

If you're going through hell, keep on going...

Pretty much the definition of my life at the moment. I'm not always sure I like my career path, my degree, sometimes I'm not even sure I like myself. I suppose the last point comes about because of the first couple and the simple fact that nobody mentions that the above statement is only for use in the short term.

Hell is an OK place to visit every so often in life, its not a good place to live. Hell for short periods can teach you valuable life lessons and you come out the other side feeling like you've learned something. Long periods of time spent in hell and you get lost, it isn't a straight line along which you can 'keep going'. If you aren't careful you'll spend the rest of your life wandering around in hell lost for the exit point.

You need to be able to recognise when you should probably have found the exit already, and if you haven't now is probably the time to start changing things up a little bit. Its ok to turn around at times like that. People so often frown upon backtracking in life - a sign of weakness or being too fickle - very rarely do people point out that sometimes that is best for the person. However the direction you turn does not necessarily need to be back the way you came.

It also isn't something you need to find on your own. Its ok to admit to people that you feel like you are in hell. More importantly it shouldn't simply be greeted with a response like 'suck it up princess'. Sure everybody does a little time in hell, everybody doesn't wake up dreading their life or their work or some other particular THING  days after day.

Maybe you just need a new way to deal with it, or a new way to overcome it, or simple an alternative to what is currently on offer. There are people out there who will help. Friends, colleagues, family, psychs or counsellors.

Whatever you do don't make the mistake of thinking everybody lives in your hell. Everybody experiences life a little bit different and different stresses get to different people. For instance I stress out completely from answering machines 2 is my limit for a day and getting in trouble makes me beat myself up to the point where I hate me (at least for an hour or two). If you feel like you are in hell ALL THE TIME there could very well be something wrong though. Take a look at your life, if you want to do it over coffee with a friend at home, and really think about whether hell is worth it, whether your projection is actually directed to get you out of hell or if you've got lost in the dark and need to turn around.

Overdosed again

Isn't it funny how you often find you can't resist some habits even though they invariably lead to pain, heartache, and general feelings of dissatisfaction? I mean I've commented on my addiction nature before now. This is more the unfortunate side of having that personality. Well that and naturally being attracted by a specific genre regardless of medium.

I am addicted to romance. Unfortunately that brings to people's minds so many connotations of hopeless romantic and completely unable to differentiate reality from fiction and all those other 'stupid female' concepts. Even more unfortunately is that at times like this, when I reach the point of overdose, I'm pretty much proving many of those preconceived notions. I hate that because I don't as course of habit presume life will happen anything like it does in the books - I'm not sure I'd want it too - anybody who likes romance novels are necessarily the way to go with you life hasn't read enough of them. At the same time when I'm lonely I wouldn't mind some of the attention some of the characters in the books draw.



Now I'm normally a very good romance reader/listener/watcher even writer at times. I get swept along with all the feel good moments and laugh/cringe at the use of cliché. I am a huge person for the romantic cliché. I know so many people who think I'm silly for liking romance because of the clichés. In actual fact I think they are some of the best bits. Of course she is his secretary who knows everything about his life and yet he sees her completely asexually until the company Christmas party. Of course she is remarkably outspoken, clumsy and an uncommon beauty. I don't mind this - I love knowing the story progression by heart so that I can be completely swept up by the details.

So why am I suddenly not amused? Unfortunately it happens when my own love life is failing hopelessly. Yes I do begin to find myself wishing for the story, the fairytale. That doesn't make me like the genre though it makes me hate it and find it depressing. I really don't like it when my brain suddenly decides the romance stories are real. I feel it start telling me that everybody has that except me. Damn it but can I see that when I look around as well. So many of my friends are in relationships. Certainly every guy I've ever had a crush on is currently in a relationship (well except for the current one).

More than anything I hate having to USE the word crush. I feel like a 13 year old kid not a 20 year old who has been out of home for 4 years and seen 3 friends married and many more engaged. Yet what else do you call liking a guy who doesn't see you that way? I feel like all those secretaries in the M&B Sexy novels, only in the words of 'He's Just Not That Into You', I am the rule not the exception.

So at the moment I feel like a have an emotional hangover at the end of any chickflick I watch or book I feel. Even my music occasionally makes feel that way - country music has a large romance component to it (how else would you get such cliché song titles as 'Sleeping single in a double bed'). Everything is reminding me of the fact that I don't know how to have a real life relationship. The only romance I've ever known was found between the covers of a book.

How do you tell a friend you would be interested in being more than friends? Particularly when you are reasonably sure they could never see you that way. Hell, I've had the conversation in the past and completely destroyed my friendships. It has stopped being worth it. I don't have enough friends to risk friendships for relationships where the odds aren't good. As he has said quite directly (we were discussing beating around the bush vs direct approachs and this has been hopelessly removed from its surrounding statements to make it seem so much harsher) 'if I liked you you'd know'. It wasn't said to mean 'back off' but damn if I can't extrapolate. Friend zone it is.

I don't mind the friend zone - it doesn't effect my feelings towards a person at all. Certainly it means they talk to me and interact with me. Its only when we aren't together that it becomes a problem. Knowing I have no claim when I sure as hell would like one and knowing they have a claim they'll never want to stake over my emotions. Mostly though it is simply the thought that I will lose out in the end. Being in the friend zone means you will lose out when they do get into a relationship. I live waiting for that moment - it undeniably comes along every time.

My favourite times in life are when I'm not interested in any particular guy. I can read romance to my hearts content without these terrible feelings. I'm rarely if ever lonely. I don't find myself wasting hours on nothingness. Unfortunately going from where I am now to back to being not interested in a guy would be unbearably painful. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard-place emotionally. What I hate the most is that it makes me sound like such a superficial, self-absorbed girl. I want there to be more to me... but I just don't know where to find that (dear heaven not in my studies).

Saturday Night At Home

I am just going to outright apologise to anybody who stumbles across my blog. This is pretty much a journal of things I wouldn't put in my journal. Currently that seems to be make-up. If you look at some of my older posts you'll find everything from Plinky posts (I still do those from time to time but Blogger doesn't like Plinky anymore so they don't show up here) to critical analysis of movies.

Why did I say all that? Mostly because the one thing I suck at more than anything is starting. The number of hours I spend contemplating the first few sentences of an essay is incredible (notably I am not Arts student, I do engineering instead).

So getting to the point. My day today was supposed to consist of study, assignments and generally getting my academic life in order. Clearly that is going to have to wait for another day. Instead I blog surfed through the make-up communities... As if I haven't done too much of that already in the last few days.  It is amazing how many hours you can spend doing that.

I couldn't actually do my make-up during that time though because I was headed to gymnastics (I'm no gymnast but flipping into the pit - and then having to climb back out again - repeatedly is good fun for something a little different). I've only done it a handful of times in the last 3 months and it would appear no more because our class ceases to exist from today :(. 

However I couldn't leave without going out with a bang. I managed to ram my knee into my own nose. I am rather hoping it isn't broken but it certainly just a little bit swollen. How does a person ram their own knee into their nose? An attempt at the vault (I told you I was no gymnast) where I was to use my hands to avoid having any contact with the vault with my legs. Well after a few tries I actually managed to get over the vault without my legs stopping me. But only just. Pretty much I got over the vault and tipped head first into the pit. My legs following behind and catching up to my face which had been stopped by the foam with enough force to give my nose a direct and rather brutal hit.

After gym I decided to pretty myself up for dinner and a movie. Dinner being myself alone at the mess hall and the movie being Enchanted since it was on Channel 7 tonight and I needed to watch some ads for a uni assignment. What a thrilling life I lead. See if you can tell that my nose is swollen =P.

This photo seems to pick up on the really goldy colour of my lids that none of the other photos I took did... 

Who is this person? Apart from the fact that my camera (which runs its own routine) has made me look like its summer not the middle of winter. I have to say that looks nothing like me (in a completely good way =] ).

Finally this one as you can probably tell has been auto-corrected unlike the others. However it probably does the best job of actually showing what my eye-make-up really looks like.

Coloured Eye-liner...

That awkward moment when I realise I have a rather large variety of colour eye liner. Now compared to true make-up fiends I'm sure my collection doesn't scratch the surface. However when you take into account that 6 months ago my solitary liquid eye-liner had been relatively untouched because I couldn't master it and didn't like it... I have accumulated a LOT of eye liner.

So yes there is some not liquid eyeliner in the bunch... a gray pencil and a purple pencil (in dire need of sharpening)... and some gel liners which I'm not sure I like.

And I'm not one for all the pretty lines and stuff so this photo is dodgy but I mostly wanted an excuse to make lines of all of them.

They are in the same order as they are in the photo above.

Now because I am a make-up hopeless its all reasonably low cost eye-liner. The gel liner 3 was $16 dollars before reduced and would be the most expensive item in the list. The four that look mostly the same and the pencils are epic cheapies - $3. 

However my favourite of them all is the bronze/gold one (its called Golden Girl) - which is made by a chemists brand Ultra3. Basically the one that started it all (my fascination with not black/brown eye-liner). I'm going to have to collect some of its friends I think. That is now at all how I should be thinking - must resist urge to buy more eye-liner.