Never been kissed

It has been a movie title, the chorus line of multiple songs, and a big deal in any number of TV shows , books and hell even the computer game the Sims. Everybody has heard the phrase in contemporary culture 'sweet sixteen, never been kissed'. Unfortunately however the prime focus of all of those references to it are about becoming 'kissed'.

I feel rather like I missed the boat. Nobody in this day and age get through their teenage years unkissed do they? Hell, Virgins are a minority by 21 aren't they? Now I happy to be virgin but i'm depressed to be 'never been kissed'.

I feel like I'm missing something obvious. I have had guys hit on me - drunk not sober that is. Even then I haven't done the patented 'pash and dash' move. I got close, inappropriately close for a public place, to the guy i've liked for months and still no more than hands.

Unfortunately after sobering up, an apology, and the 'talk' it appears I'm to have no more luck on that front ever again... And all I wish, in a petty girlish way, is that my first kiss could have been taken care of then. That it could have been with a guy I like so genuinely. So I could stop thinking about 'never been kissed'.

Ah well, for anybody who has seen the movie 23 is the age of the character - I've got years to go. Unfortunately this is proving to be rather hard to stay positive about...

Just thinking...

Somewhere along the way I stopped being a prolific thinker. Certainly I doubt I was ever a profound thinker. Yes I realize that means abundant etc. that is exactly what it feels like - I just stopped thinking.

Perhaps it was because thinking was hard work. Perhaps it is because thinking never seems to achieve things. (because not bothering to think achieved so much more). A lot is because I came to the realization I'm not overly keen for my degree but there isn't a whole lot of options forty me at this point. Thinking -about anything - would be admitting too consciously to the procrastination that defines my life.

However as it would turn out I, as always, give up on any illusions when it gets into the study and exam period. I don't glorify myself as different or anything. We all do it. Something about the concept of having to teach yourself all the things the lecturer never bothered with its downright demotivating.

So instead I'm just sitting here and enjoying the view out my window (my computer stopped turning on this morning - as in I pressed the button and nothing happened). And thinking. About the beauty of the eucalypt outside, the simply enjoyment I get out of my long socks, the disaster which is integration, and the fact I don't enjoy stuff often enough.

Now, quite frustratingly, I can't seem to put the photos where I want them. Dumb phone. I did intend to break up the monotony with a photo if my socks.

Now I would go into depth more. There are far more deep reaching thoughts I wished to put on the internet and just become 'one of those girls' however I fear I should go back to my work - thanks to the challenge of typing on the phone (never let it be suggested that you can type as fast in touch screen as key pad neither) this took entire too long to get even this far.

Ah well hopefully you will get to see my punchline anyway. I have found the most useful use for electronics wire yet I think.

It Would Appear I Have a Lot of Nail Polish...

Now anybody who is currently studying or for that matter has studied at any point in their life will probably understand the study week procrastination. (I am assuming my uni is not the only one with a study break for the week prior to exams with that statement of course).

For me study week becomes a time for getting up to date on television shows (usually start from season 1 episode 1 on shows I've never seen before lol), trying on all the lip sticks I can find in my room (but then scrubbing my face clean should I leave the house), reading romance novels, finding new Pokemon ROMs to play on the computer, organising my pens,pencils,books,papers,nail polishes etc (because that is sort of productive isn't it?) and then on about Friday FREAKING out because after all I've spent the entire week doing nothing and aren't at all ready for any of my exams.

However today is not Friday. Freaking out is days away. I just thought I should put my... I now realise quite extensive... nail polish collection up on this slightly forlorn blog. Apparently I have more than 50 nail polishes! and then a handful of top coat/base coat, a crackle polish and a sparse glitter I use over colours.

Now that looks pretty unimpressive photographed like that... I mean I managed to fit them all in the frame. Maybe I don't have an addiction? And then I lined them up in colour order.

Now I couldn't quite make them line up in a nice neat colour line - I could have stuck the pinks on the end after the white but I felt that was cheating (and even more impossible to fit onto my desk). They seemed to belong better as a deviation off from where the purple met the rainbow.

If you look over the back in this picture you can see my clear/top coat/base coat/nail nutrition clumped together and my crackle/multicolour glitter also separate.

All of my beautiful purple polishes - there's no need to guess what my favourite colour is.

For any true lover of the classics who is now fearing that I don't have a basic true red nail polish never fear I realised afterwards that I had missed my red because it doesn't live in my main collection at the moment.

Now you can probably tell that much of my nail polish is cheap nail polish. The Ulta3 nail polishes cost me between $2-2.50 each. However I only use them on my toes and it lasts the two weeks until I take it off and change colours so that suits me just fine. I've mentioned before I don't have much opportunity to wear nail polish on my fingers (though I do get the 5 nails 5 colours look out at Christmas). They also don't have the strong scent which I know is associated with a lot of cheap nail polish so I consider that to be a bonus. 

There isn't a nail polish in my collection that I'm not particularly fond of. Probably the worst is the shiny silver (third from the end). Not because the colour is terrible or even that its bad nail polish - I just can't master the no lines going which ways from the bristles of the brush. My favourite? Is actually I now realise the intersection polish so its almost impossible to see. It is most red of my purples while still be a true purple (not a burgundy). It has a very blue based pink/purple shine to a more reddy polish which give a dimension to it I absolutely love.

Now I really feel like painting my nails. Which I can't because I painted my toes yesterday and am trying to maximise my finger nail health for the Christmas season at the moment. If you were wondering my toes are currently the more apple of the two green polishes with the black crackle over the top.

This or That: Ball on Friday

So what is best way for an engineering student to procrastinate on a Thursday night? Probably the better question is what is the best way for an engineering student to work productively on a Thursday night. I won't try to answer that though - three years of my degree has taught me... that probably isn't possible. So instead I'll just let you in on my nightly activities for procrastination.

Tomorrow I'm going to a ball. Perhaps that is not as cool as the word inevitably suggests but it is reasonably cool nonetheless. I'm torn about whether I am actually looking forward to it or not... My closest friends aren't there and my social threshold on a Friday night is variable and often low (all this procrastination takes up a whole lot of time you know and I end up at the end of the week feeling rather worse for wear).

However the one thing I always enjoy about dressing up is it gives me a reason to put on make-up - despite my addiction to the stuff I don't wear a lot often. I wear day make-up on the weeks and the occasional outlandish eye while hanging out in my room but I don't get an opportunity to try things and have people see it often. Which gives me the opportunity to practice today for looks I might do tomorrow - forgive my eyebrows I intend to take care of them a bit better tomorrow.

The big question is - left or right? Though I know its not a question I'm likely to get an answer from while on here.

The right. Now this is the more subtle look... Very much my standard eye routine with different shadows. It is a little darker in person (the shadow in across my cheek prevents some of the contrast I think).

The left. Now I'm still very much new to any sort of adventurous make-up. In particular the smokey eye - yes i've lived under a rock. So this is me trying to do it - with of course purple. You can't quite tell that the eye-lid in the first photo is is a dusky maroon colour but the purple in the second one does much better. 

Because you can't go beyond the plain dead face look to compare them head to head.

 And when it comes down to it... which would look better in photos? Well damned if you can't tell a huge difference because in the end when I smile my eyes crease up completely anyway... Can tell I prefer the foundation that's on the left side of my face when compared with the one on the right side of my face... I did mention I'd half and halfed my foundation to test for colour right?

I like the darker one because it is very different from me but I'm not really sure if I could pull it off... And if I can guarantee myself I wouldn't stuff it up on the night when I've gotten myself into a tizzy and am completely behind schedule getting ready. On the topic of getting ready - I should probably go iron my dress because I forgot to put it into the dry cleaners because I didn't realise this ball was this week until Tuesday... This could all go horribly wrong - wish me luck!

Where to begin?

It's an interesting thought really - how do you start doing something new or different? I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who struggles with the whole concept of change. Admittedly I probably struggle with it to a greater degree than some but that's tales I'll save for my psych. If change was easy there wouldn't be such a huge business in self-improvement, motivational, business management... hell, everything in its essence comes down to change and people trying to control it.

Wow, I've managed to make that sounds so much more deep and meaningful than my actual topic. That must be the same writing technique I utilised on my written assignment in my Management elective the other day. My apologies. What I am actually talking about today is superficial. How to go from not wearing make-up to wearing make-up, and for that matter all the other kinds of minor superficial change you attempt to undergo in your life while being aware that everybody and their dog are free to notice.

I'm afraid of this? I mean hell you can't see anything...

To many people the answer to the question would probably simply be. Just do it. Hehe, I feel rather like a Nike ad Just Do It. I suppose that summaries my problem. Short sharp statements like that brush aside the fact that things are really hard - at the very least there is some kind of effort involved. Pros, cons, fears, judgement... contemplating all that can be soo hard.

Make-up is not the only area of my life I have this problem, I'm much more screwed up than that. I actually struggle with motivating myself to exercise simply because I struggle to change in front of the people I work with. The fear of failure is quite paralytic in those instances.

In my workplace there is a lot of stigma that goes with being a make-up wearer. Of course its not necessary completely bad, unless you're the oompa loompa (think orange). However make-up brings with it the expectation of a particular type of girl. Interestingly I don't think I come across as that kind of girl. I read romance, I cry in Disney movies, I can't handle horror, I accumulate make-up and nail polish YET I rarely come across as a girly girl. I'm actually not sure how I come across. You there, you're not allowed to answer that question you've seen much of my girliest thoughts in weeks.

I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and wear some. On a day when i don't have major physical activity (like today) though.

Gettin' to Know Me

I'm not inclined to be (perhaps to my own detriment) to be particularly disinclined to share entirely too much information. If you aren't a fan of such things feel free to stop reading. However I got this idea from Unleash The Beauty. If you want to know a bit too much about some random you've never met feel free to keep reading - I don't mind.

Vital Statistics:
Me: Bronwyn

Nicknames: Bron (always without invitation), Bronnie/Brony, Daisy

Birthday: November 28, 1990 

Place of Birth: Australia 

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius - though you knew this I've just told you my birthday 

Male or Female: Female

Occupation: Government Employee-To-Be / Undergraduate Engineering Student

Residence: Australia

Appearance:

Hair Colour: My natural mid-brown - with too strong a goldy base to misinterpreted as 'mouse brown'

Hair Length: Mid-Long

Eye colour: Brown

Best Feature: 

Height: 178cm

Braces?: nope - and I have slightly misplaced canine to show for it...

Glasses?: At one time - I'm not sure quite why though at times when I notice I squint more than other people I think I understand despite that though I have above average vision.

Piercing: Have had :Belly Button, hip surface piercings. Currently have ears (3 in each lobe), tragus, monroe, septum, 2 tragus dermals, 2 neck dermals, 2 stomach dermals and one other :)

Tattoos: Bats on my left shoulder, stars on my right foot.

Righty or Lefty: Righty

Your 'Firsts':

First best friend: Craig? in the pre-school we visited at his Nanna's at the same time kind of way... or probably Estelle

First Award: I've got no idea... probably for successfully completing homework readings or spelling tests or something dull like that..

First Sport You Joined: Swimming 

First Real Vacation: My family went for a week on the Sunshine Coast (QLD) every December for many years.

First Concert: ... The Seekers... how many 20 year olds can say that huh?

First Love: Wait out.

Favourites:

Movie: Music & Lyrics/Bride & Prejudice/Over Her Dead Body - You get the idea

TV Show: atm? none

Colours: Purple and lime green <- weirdly I didn't change this from the previous person...

Song: Dreamland Express - John Denver and King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Candy: Anythinggggg. I love candy :) 

Restaurant: usually places where other people can get steak but I can have not steak (to clarify I'm not a vego simply not a steak fan)

Store: Officeworks and Priceline - both are incredibly dangerous for my wallet

Book: Romance - cheap/second hand is my speciality...

Magazine: the most recent one in the pile (think waiting rooms)

Shoes: my Kmart $8 coral canvas shoes... I repurchased them 4 times... I'm fearful of when my current ones wear out they don't sell them anymore :(

Currently:

Feeling: Like I really REALLY don't want to do this stupid lab report

Single or Taken: Single but emotionally taken?

Eating: Oreos

Listening To: ^ King of Anything (after having to look up the spelling of her last name i couldn't resist)

Thinking About: my relationship status - thank you for bring it up :S

Wanting: to care more about doing my studies

Watching: trying to decide on a movie right now

Wearing: my skinny jeans and an old bowling shirt

Future:

Want Children?: Yes 2-4.

Want to be Married: Before I'm 30.

Careers in Mind: electrical engineer (the kind that doesn't have to design analogue electrical circuits though yuck)

Where do you want to live?: In the same location as my husband would be ideal :P... someplace warm but not hot - so not Canberra but not North QLD.

Do You Believe In:

God: Yes - bible bearing (but not bashing) Christian

Miracles: Yes

Love At First sight: In some instances - but it most certainly grows from that point.

Ghosts: no.

Aliens: Who am I to know? Not any of the ones people make a fuss over in conspiracy theories though

Soul Mates: Yes

Heaven: Yes

Hell: Yes

Kissing on The First Date: Situation dependent

Yourself: you'd think so wouldn't you?

Money Bags: I Struck Gold

Now I'm not going to claim aspirations to beauty blogging. That seems to me to be a lot of work and I'm not that good at make-up. Its simply my latest interest (thus why it gets a showing on my patchy, occasional access blog). 

However one of the big things in the make-up world - familiar to everybody who has even a passing interest in it - is Australia is among the most expensive countries in the world for having such a habit. Things that are cheap overseas simply aren't here - double/triple mark-ups are fairly routine. Which is not to say there isn't some cheaper options out there - you just don't hear about them all that much.

Ulta3 has been a long time favourite for nail polish. As a girl who is required by work not to wear nail polish I like to go all the more crazy with my toe nails and the $2.50 bin of nail polishes you can find at Terry White Chemists really help me scratch that itch. Certainly if you browse the interwebs you find many great testimonies to the awesomeness of Ulta3 colour selections. Until now, though, I've generally ignored the fact that that bin was connected to a slightly higher priced (~$7) selection of make-up.

I was looking for a costume to go to a bush dance the other day. For the life of me I couldn't find something good. Did eventually find a shirt which was in the old fashion fine flower patterns (which if the stores are anything to go by are about to be quite popular) but the line at Target was too long for me to get it in the time I had - I suppose that is another story. Before I'd gotten to Target though I was already feeling a bit down on my luck. Thus perhaps a little bit more predisposed to buying make-up than I would be otherwise.

If I couldn't actually have a good outfit - I could at least have good make-up right? This particular eye shadow palette draw my eye. What says Aussie Bush like a deep burnt orange? Hell its practically like picking the earth up and painting on there - you could turn all these colours into Aboriginal body paint or something.

Added bonus is that the palette's name is 'Money Bags'. The bush dance's official theme was Gold Rush so that seemed appropriate.

I am not claiming extensive knowledge of the good and bad of eye shadow but these are some of the nicest I've had the pleasure of working with. The orange of course is my favourite of the bunch - outwise I could probably have talked myself out of another reasonably basic set of light,mid,dark brown (though I admit this brown is also quite red as shows up under flash). If you like warmer shades these ones are really good.

 No Flash

 Flash

  Flash

 No Flash

I just felt like Ulta3 deserved a mention in the great blogosphere even if only on such an obscure blog as my own. I love the quality I've found in this little palette and think people should give Ulta3 a try if you live in Aus.