Convincing Myself I'm Not Depressed

As I've mentioned I'm not particularly skilled with members of the opposite sex. I've also mentioned that I have a huge crush on one of the other guys in my year. I think I even mentioned the fact that even if I remain incompetent for the rest of the year, there's always next year etc. and slowly but surely I'm getting better with time. Pathetic yes but all well and good. I can go plodding along and hopefully make some progress...

Or not. Saw him yesterday, he's one of the 3 other members of my bible study group, how I have love going to bible study for the 5 minutes we get to talk before the others get in and get started. but dammit, this week... he had news... and for me it was not good news. He's leaving, not at some indiscriminate time post graduation, not even the end of the year. He's leaving, next week!!! 

How do you get AROUND that? Maybe if I was good at the relationships stuff... but I'm not... I keep my feelings well and truly close to the chest. But goodness I had to work to not break down throughout the rest of the study. Yes, we literally went straight into the bible study like nothing was wrong. Admittedly he seemed a little be more sullen than usual, anxious to be leaving I suppose. Leaving this place would be like getting out of a prison. Excited about finally being free, nervous about what the real world will look like outside its protective walls. I'm as institutionalised as can be... so i never really expected any of my close friends to not be... that in itself is quite a shock...

I'm just not quite sure what to do now. By nature I crush long and hard... I'll probably make a good wife oneday if my relationship skills ever improve. My high school crush, the last super one I had, only really ended cause he stopped talking to me, and then we finished school. But this one... doesn't have the animosity in it. I don't want to have to be convincing myself not to think about him, it is painful and awkward... and my mind says completely pointless. But the saner part of my mind also says he'll be going all too soon, and there are bound to be girls from where he's from, and I'm too hopeless for anything... I just don't know... Now I feel guilty when I watch for him, feeling like I'm feeding a part of me I don't have a right to be. Such is my life right now...