Where to begin?

It's an interesting thought really - how do you start doing something new or different? I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who struggles with the whole concept of change. Admittedly I probably struggle with it to a greater degree than some but that's tales I'll save for my psych. If change was easy there wouldn't be such a huge business in self-improvement, motivational, business management... hell, everything in its essence comes down to change and people trying to control it.

Wow, I've managed to make that sounds so much more deep and meaningful than my actual topic. That must be the same writing technique I utilised on my written assignment in my Management elective the other day. My apologies. What I am actually talking about today is superficial. How to go from not wearing make-up to wearing make-up, and for that matter all the other kinds of minor superficial change you attempt to undergo in your life while being aware that everybody and their dog are free to notice.

I'm afraid of this? I mean hell you can't see anything...

To many people the answer to the question would probably simply be. Just do it. Hehe, I feel rather like a Nike ad Just Do It. I suppose that summaries my problem. Short sharp statements like that brush aside the fact that things are really hard - at the very least there is some kind of effort involved. Pros, cons, fears, judgement... contemplating all that can be soo hard.

Make-up is not the only area of my life I have this problem, I'm much more screwed up than that. I actually struggle with motivating myself to exercise simply because I struggle to change in front of the people I work with. The fear of failure is quite paralytic in those instances.

In my workplace there is a lot of stigma that goes with being a make-up wearer. Of course its not necessary completely bad, unless you're the oompa loompa (think orange). However make-up brings with it the expectation of a particular type of girl. Interestingly I don't think I come across as that kind of girl. I read romance, I cry in Disney movies, I can't handle horror, I accumulate make-up and nail polish YET I rarely come across as a girly girl. I'm actually not sure how I come across. You there, you're not allowed to answer that question you've seen much of my girliest thoughts in weeks.

I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and wear some. On a day when i don't have major physical activity (like today) though.