This is dedicated to the gigantic cliché that is mills and boon. I know I know there is a lot more to it than that. Nevertheless my dad inspired me to write this sure fire 'recipe' on how to write a mills and boon. If nothing else it makes for a great game to pass the time in the car. And no matter how much you want to say it is so much more complicated than that you can't help but think of stories you've read that sound EXACTLY like this.
Step 1: Name Characters. It is critically important to give your characters slightly out of the ordinary names. No Mills n Boon character is every Bob, Bill or Fred. There are a number of ways to do this:
Step 3: Initial hatred/dislike. This can be on the personal level, the career level or the hobby level really. Just something that at least one of them feels very passionately about and the disagree about the point. If its the her with the opinion it is entirely acceptable that it be a very minor thing to him. She's trying to save some tree. He is just carrying out the work for some other business... that kind of thing
Step 4: Where they get thrown into constant contact. Uh-oh... Apparently that little thing they were disagreeing about has just become very important. Either than or because of their work they are now being forced into constant contact - generally because she is working for him. This is where the disagreement gets a little fierce. She didn't like his job before but now she hates it, hates him because it is impacting hers or somebody/something which is inside her little world.
Step 5: The fall / the sex. The point where something changes. There is no requirement for the hate to have gone away at this stage... In fact it is most likely hidden just below the surface but the physical attraction is appearing between them. Whether it subtle or a full blown 20 page sex bonanza they are going to show attraction to one another despite what their heads are saying.
Step 6: The break off. The issue from before is back... it never really went away but it has reared its ugly head at this point. There suddenly seems to be no way around it at this point. This is the fight or disagreement which has them moving out (if they moved in that is), leaving down, running away etc. All in all at this point it doesn't look good for our two lovebirds.
Step 7: The fairy god-mother. There is almost always a third party at this point to knock some sense - whether intentional of the person telling them to give the other person a chance for this that or the other reason or accidental by way of information they missed about the previous break off argument. This step has both of them seeing sense generally one through the fairy godmother and the other through self meditation type means but both may have a fairy godmother character.
Step 8: The happily ever after. Whether a short I love you exchange or a complete epilogue of what they'll be doing for the next 10 years of their life it doesn't matter. All that matters is that they are together and will remain so forever. There is never a mills and boon with a sequel. Would be funny if there was though :P
Step 1: Name Characters. It is critically important to give your characters slightly out of the ordinary names. No Mills n Boon character is every Bob, Bill or Fred. There are a number of ways to do this:
- Car Makes, Models and Brands. For her. Why call her Jane when you can call her Corolla, Micra, Mazda or Captiva. For him. Everybody knows that Ford, Holden or Cruze could make for a very attractive male lead. Of course I wouldn't really be naming too many characters after the Mazda range... somehow 121 just doesn't have the right ring to it.
- Street & Business Names. Depending on where you are street names might be entirely appropriate for the naming of your characters. I'm not just talking about when you have John St or George Ave. How about Pyrmont or Booth? After all 75% of streets were named after somebody in the first place now weren't they. Of course dad insists that this should be how you get both first and last names... should it be Pyrmont Booth or Booth Pyrmont do you think?
- Natural Features or 'Thing' Names. You look at a street sign and read the miles to destination. I'll call him Miles. You pass over the bridge. Name her River. You go past a pine plantation. Perhaps Timber... Or Timberton (because you can add ton to anything to make it more upperclass). Straightforward enough? Dad thinks so.
Step 3: Initial hatred/dislike. This can be on the personal level, the career level or the hobby level really. Just something that at least one of them feels very passionately about and the disagree about the point. If its the her with the opinion it is entirely acceptable that it be a very minor thing to him. She's trying to save some tree. He is just carrying out the work for some other business... that kind of thing
Step 4: Where they get thrown into constant contact. Uh-oh... Apparently that little thing they were disagreeing about has just become very important. Either than or because of their work they are now being forced into constant contact - generally because she is working for him. This is where the disagreement gets a little fierce. She didn't like his job before but now she hates it, hates him because it is impacting hers or somebody/something which is inside her little world.
Step 5: The fall / the sex. The point where something changes. There is no requirement for the hate to have gone away at this stage... In fact it is most likely hidden just below the surface but the physical attraction is appearing between them. Whether it subtle or a full blown 20 page sex bonanza they are going to show attraction to one another despite what their heads are saying.
Step 6: The break off. The issue from before is back... it never really went away but it has reared its ugly head at this point. There suddenly seems to be no way around it at this point. This is the fight or disagreement which has them moving out (if they moved in that is), leaving down, running away etc. All in all at this point it doesn't look good for our two lovebirds.
Step 7: The fairy god-mother. There is almost always a third party at this point to knock some sense - whether intentional of the person telling them to give the other person a chance for this that or the other reason or accidental by way of information they missed about the previous break off argument. This step has both of them seeing sense generally one through the fairy godmother and the other through self meditation type means but both may have a fairy godmother character.
Step 8: The happily ever after. Whether a short I love you exchange or a complete epilogue of what they'll be doing for the next 10 years of their life it doesn't matter. All that matters is that they are together and will remain so forever. There is never a mills and boon with a sequel. Would be funny if there was though :P
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